is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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