We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
