dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
