Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
