So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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