if you like me you must not know who I am
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
