just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
