I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am puke
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
soo... how was my night?
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