I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
