this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
