just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
