i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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