He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
