Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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