remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize