You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
