I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
