He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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