i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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