He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize