yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
