Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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