You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
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After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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