i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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