i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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