Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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