I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
