South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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