Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
don't judge my taste in strippers
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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