im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
