hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
