Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
