rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
