i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
