there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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