The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
