I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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