and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
