I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
