i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
