I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
