oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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