summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
