If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
