Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
