yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
