oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
