So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
But theres a keg here and me gusta
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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