we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize