Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
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You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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