im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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