I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
