I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
