my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
