What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
