No stitches, just platelets and will power
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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