Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
