he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
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If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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