Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
