Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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