her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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