are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
