Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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