okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
