Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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