I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
