I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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