girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
