OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
