why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
