I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
